May 1st 2006
"It is now time for me to put things straight!
The relationship and subsequent marriage had all been a cleverly thought out plan of action, an arrangement that
suited the situation and Charles and I the pawns on the chessboard of other peoples design. He was at an age when he
needed to be married off if there was any hope at all of the monarchy continuing, an heir was needed and a serious
search was on to find the right Queen to be.
He had of course had girlfriends, my eldest sister Sarah being one of them, but none had proved suitable for one
reason or another and then I came along but this was also convenient considering my father having been equerry to
Her Majesty and my maternal grandmother head lady of the bedchamber to the Queen Mother and also of course my
family had always had close links with the royals even before Sarah's personal intervention, our blood actually bluer
than theirs!
I was young and naive, presentable and with an impeccable background, no skeletons in my closet that might
suddenly appear and so ideal to mould as his future wife. Plans had been hatched; he having already been involved
with my sister Sarah the scene was set, Charles and I already having crossed paths of course, I then a sixteen year old
on my school holidays.
We met and as I am sure had been presumed I was flattered that an elder man and especially given his position was
interested in me and albeit unknowingly fell into line with the operation as a result which is why everything was
immediate, there was no time to waste. We hardly knew each other by the time our engagement was announced
publicly, only having met thirteen times up until that point, I'd counted!
Even in the run up to it he had been obligated, duty called again, to leave me alone in London to deal with the media
hype while he took his last solo tour to Australia! On his return it was time to set the wheels in motion and the wedding
day was set. My time then consisted of preparation for what ought to have been the happiest day of my life but this
bride to be already was aware before standing at the altar that her fiancées affections and love were directed to
somebody else.
Everybody within the firm knew it, even some staff members, so the wedding of the century was actually a sham of
pomp and ceremony with one main objective; to secure the continuance of the monarchy! As I have said I was very
young and the sheer enormity of everything happening to me had me lost and so I just went along with it, caught up in
the mood of the nation, highly contagious euphoria and me at the centre of it all, overwhelming me completely and
albeit secretly making me ill!
The honeymoon proved to me that something was definitely wrong, my husband not wanting to spend much time with
his new bride preferring the company of his books and of course the private communications with his friend and
confidante, Camilla Parker-Bowles who I knew was his mistress to be! So the decline in our relationship was more or
less immediate, I spent my time talking to the crew of the "Britannia" and yet still in awe of the fact that I was sailing in
her and they being there to serve me.
I provided the much needed heir and later spare and so fulfilled my greatest obligation and I am so glad as the boys
became and remained always everything to me, the light in my life. The marriage had moments of joy of course and
even some passion but in the main it remained an arrangement that had suited the establishment which is why they
were so determined for us to iron out any cracks that appeared, grit our teeth and get on with it and we tried but the
pressures upon us from all sides made things impossible and all too soon, still married, we were living separate lives
and seeking emotional comfort elsewhere which we were told we could do provided we were discreet about it.
Initially we were but I found that people I'd grown fond of were in some way or another diverted from me and this
happened more and more, even friends I'd been close to suddenly vanished out of my life which I found so hurtful I
became more ill, to the extent I tried to harm myself, I needed help to get better but nobody was listening to me and
instead labelled me unstable.
In the cold and unfeeling environment I found myself imprisoned in, a maze of rules and regulations bound by
protocol, tradition and duty I slowly sank but at the last moment having sought help from various sources, I literally
swam for my life and I survived!
The way I'd done this was through my work, keeping myself busy with one engagement or another albeit unless on
tour usually as a solo act, my husband attending other matters that commanded his attention so we rarely saw each
other except of course we'd make the effort to be cordial with each other for William and Harry's sakes but children
are not easily fooled so eventually there was no need for us to do so and the divorce signalled the end of the
soap-opera we'd been leading players in for so many years!
Following our official separation I decided to put things in perspective using the media and gave the "Panorama
Interview" that I have since been criticised for having done, my only regret having been that it upset William and that
I wasn't even more honest during it but I proved that I was now a force to be reckoned with in a very public way which
had been my intention to do but it certainly made me enemies in powerful positions who feared what I did next in full
knowledge as I was that I had the people's support and knowledge is power and something I was intent on using and
did!
I had no sense of loyalty to the crown and a system that tried to destroy me and failed but I had a respect for William
who sadly I recognised would one day be immersed in the system himself though with a far different attitude to it all,
something I'd made it my business to instil in him so I had to tread carefully for his sake but his alone!
Never the less I knew that I was a definite problem and actually got quite a kick in knowing it and deliberately kept the
establishment on its toes and more often than not on the edge and following the divorce and complete freedom grew
strong and independent with a power I could take anywhere and did. Non royal I may have been but the "Queen of
Hearts" proved without a crown she sat on the throne and ruled as seen by the amount of loyal subjects all over the
world who followed and supported her in everything she did, all the encouragement given for her to do more and if the
events of August 31st 1997 had not happened she had promised herself she would have done and she kept her
promises which is why even now her memory lives on as "she won't go quietly!"
