Early Chronological Precis-- Part 2

(Date Posted:02/07/2005 02:23:45)

" There are going to be tremendous changes in the world and it's important that there are, at present there is too
much power in certain areas and not enough in others and this must change. The wrong people hold powerful
positions which is something that must alter by albeit dramatic means. The world needs to become more balanced
and integrated if it is to continue and opposing factions to world peace dispersed and destroyed, inevitably this will
happen but to what cost?

Hopefully in the next few years things will alter and become a lot more balanced with the average man on the streets
opinion of things given greater consideration than up until now has been the case. The changes I speak of will effect
everyone but are necessary as problems the world faces are rapidly escalating and in danger of spinning out of
control and this must be stopped. The possibility of a third world war is not something that can be ruled out,
particularly if actions to balance the scales are not taken soon. In this world of advanced technology people are
dying due to a lack of medical facilities or the means to pay for necessary treatments whilst others spend thousands
on cosmetic surgery for the sake of vanity, where is the fairness, justice in this and that is just one example of how
corrupt the world has become, there are numerous others I could mention!

Financially the world is in dire straits and could fall into a recession at any moment and perhaps this needs to
happen to wake people up to its reality. The world will never be a universally peaceful place, there will always be
opposition to this, war-mongers everywhere but exposure of their identities will be something made apparent by
actions they take and therefore certainly over the next decade there will be fewer of them which can only be a good
thing. I personally witnessed how corrupt the world is and it shocked me and as more and more things hidden now
are revealed, prepare to be as shocked as I was!"

(Date Posted:28/07/2005 17:57:39)

" My husband and I had wanted our marriage to work and I do not mean in entertaining affairs within it as was the
case, I mean really work but it just couldn't, we were so different as people in every way from the sublime to the
ridiculous but, as I have said, prior to my death we had become "Friends".  This was something I really was happy
about and not just for the boys sake, though naturally it was wonderful for them too, but for me personally as in our
own way we loved each other which is why he was insistent to fly to Paris to collect me and bring me home and to let
me stay in his home until in this life anyway we said a final goodbye.

My husband, and I refer to him this way as our divorce was something in truth I never really accepted deep down
which is why perhaps I was always shy of relationships developing too seriously since our marriage ended ,was not
in any way connected with my death. Devastated himself by it which was obvious to everyone who witnessed his
reaction to it.  I have to say that his genuine grief was not shared by other members of his family and also my
husband's side, that is to say the people around him for whom I had proved to be a problem, and of course our
children suffered most, naturally.

I had been a problem to that family in life often of my own making but also in ways that I was not even in control of,
my popularity making me powerful, loved in a way that they would never be because by being myself I bridged the
gap between the man in the street and royalty.  I was approachable, I was touchable, something they are not. As for
being  "Queen",  had this been my destiny, even I would have found this difficult, it's just not done! One of the
reasons I suppose why as "Queen" I was always seen by them to be a non-starter!

In past eras the distance of royalty being something accepted and respected but now viewed as cold and unfeeling,
times and attitudes have changed which is the problem...traditions haven't and I was resented by them for lessening
the distinction by my behaviour. Without the title, I was actually no longer royal, expected by example to curtsy to
lesser royals than I had been, needless to say I didn't and wouldn't and this was not something forced upon me to do
but it gives a very good idea as to what the demotion meant and I am sure gave certain members great satisfaction
and a laugh at my expense socially.

As a non-royal I was able to involve myself in political issues like the land mines campaign which was something not
supported by everyone, land mines themselves being U.S. and U.K.  built so bringing valuable economy to both
nations at the expense of human life, no doubt part of the reason why until my very public intervention in the issue
and worldwide exposure of the threat of them it had remained very secretive and something ignored and hidden
from all but those directly involved and of course the victims of them and their families who suddenly found with
me they had a voice, someone with influence on their side, determined to help them!

I was able to speak out about a number of issues and be heard by a public who supported me whether officially
royal or not and I know that this was not expected to have been the case at all and so again caused problems! I have
said that I did more than my bit antagonising them further by my behaviour but I was always a "Free Spirit" with an
obstinate and rebellious streak and having been as I saw it, remembering I was still the mother of a future King,
treated extremely unfairly was fighting fire with fire determined that even if not winning, I'd even things out and
not lose anymore than I already had! Every gain a bonus point and in my keeping the people on my side, I was
playing the ace card time and time again and more and more, something that became easier and easier to do all over
the world which is why I suppose I was accused of being a "Loose-Cannon" by the establishment. Something at the
time I denied but in truth that's exactly what I was! I had the advantage of people-power all over the world, a power
that I could take anywhere but it was a power that undermined the royals at every turn and my being without a
royal title and still having it was something of tremendous embarrassment to them naturally!"

(Date Posted:04/08/2005 01:59:12)

" Being a royal in my experience I can tell you is not fun. There are the perks naturally, the best seats in the house at
the theatre or cinema, travel around the world staying at the best hotels, eating the best food, well, actually
sometimes in order not to insult your host having to palate national dishes that sometimes were shall we say
different and all for free.  No I'm not being frivolous, I'm just giving you an idea of what it's like! You are not
"Ordinary" and you're not treated as such but well, in my case often I'd wished I was just to experience it again.  I,
remember,  not born royal had been on the other side of the fence and there were things I missed, silly things like
being able to walk down the road to buy some tea, that kind of thing! You can't do it and it takes getting used to, to
be shadowed in everything you do, much like being watched by a prefect at school. Freedom, personal freedom, is
lost which is awfully frustrating.

Like their father"William" and " Harry" with the royal advantage, if you can call it that, of having grown up
accustomed to this way of life.  Though I have to say that "William" in Chile liked the fact that he was not given
preferential treatment from the other "Raleigh" volunteers. However  his future clearly heads him down a path
where this experience will increasingly disappear which disappoints him naturally but something he is gradually
coming to accept, having no choice!

As a royal you are expected to behave in a certain way and you are more or less advised on everything, it is
regimented and extremely frustrating as your public duties take precedence over everything, your diary rules your
life, one engagement after another and on goes the mask. That is part of the package, the smile, the handshake, the
show of interest, the wanting to be wherever you are but you battle a futile fight because often you'd rather be at
home watching a soap-opera on tv or in bed reading a good book! This isn't to say that every engagement is a trial,
of course not, some I enjoyed very much. Most things can be enjoyable in moderation but being a royal means
everything is done in the extreme, and being genuinely popular even more so, which was the case with me but you
also realise that people genuinely want to see you and meet you and you therefore don't want to let them down so
you get on with it, you've a job to do and that's that!

I have always said that I admired "Her Majesty" in her role in which she conducts herself perfectly but it's a way of
life she has grown accustomed to knowing nothing else since having to adapt to it following the death of her
father.Her uncle's abdication had meant it was something that she'd been prepared to do eventually, but for
outsiders brought in like myself it's a totally different story. Being in the cameras lens and the media spotlight in
one way or another consistently is emotionally and mentally draining, knowing that if you suddenly look bored,
next day you will be news coupled with the journalists opinion of you which might be horrible and reading it sets
you up the next day feeling wretched and miserable. However,  "on call" again you do your best to take the criticism
on the chin and endeavour to not give anyone reason to criticise you more.  I remember attending a function with a
blinding migraine, agony bringing tears of pain into my eyes, and the next day the journalists ignorant of this
suggested my marriage was in problems. ( For the most part Charles and I were a class act , a good team as
headliners ! )  Well...it was but the reasons for my tears on that occasion was a headache! This though is the kind of
pressure you find yourself continuously under and there's nothing you can do to change it as by nature people are
curious and keen to know everything about you. You are  the performing seal. They, the audience, which also being
human nature, is fickle...one moment you can be the delicacy of the week and by the next left-overs from an
uneaten meal!

The reference I make to food being important as everyone knows I suffered an eating disorder brought on by
nervousness and feelings of inadequacy that often were hard to bear, my problems with inner insecurities well
documented so no need to talk about them but this was the physical symptom of an emotional problem which as a
royal you ideally don't talk about.  You are preferred not to betray how you emotionally feel about things at all in
that environment and especially in public but of course which I did often and to whoever would listen, well not
quite, but I sought advice from all different areas about it.

So did I miss being an official royal? No I didn't, I celebrated the fact that I'd flown free albeit from a golden cage
but I'd served my time as "Prisoner of Wales" and welcomed the release date, with only the personal regret that a
marriage that I'd wanted to work and a fairy tale that others had wanted to believe in had ended and the
consequences resulting from this,  just as I had had to in my childhood, that my boys would have to get used to
"Mummy" and "Papa" not being together anymore and by being royal not in privacy but publicly, something I did
not envy them at all.  Prince or pauper it hurts!"

(Date Posted:17/09/2005 02:27:59)

" As a mother I was very involved with my children, my boys, and while  some might say too involved  I personally
would not agree with this, naturally. Consequently losing me at such young and impressionable ages, William 15 yrs
old and Harry 13 yrs old, it was an incredible wrench for them which they coped with marvellously, greatly assisted
in this initially anyway by their father which has served as the foundation stone for an incredibly emotionally close
and supportive relationship between them all, something that I dare say to the same extent would not have been the
case had I still been alive.

Losing a parent at any age is one of the, if not
the hardest thing, a child has to cope with and particularly so if the
bond has been a close one as was certainly the case with us. All kinds of emotions surface, ones of anger, guilt,
sadness, regret ,an entire spectrum of them as well as of course the question " Why"?  Particularly so when that
parent dies unexpectedly and these issues all needing to be dealt with in one way or another even in some cases with
professional help, this though not having been necessary initially anyway for the boys, thank goodness, but they
never the less had to come to terms with the shock of it all. My having been a public figure on a broader scale than
other people facing the same situation,all the more difficult emphasised by the fact of witnessing how my sudden
death was received by people all over the world, many of whom had not known me personally at all!

This is not to say that it did not affect them in anyway, of course it did, and particularly the case sometime after the
event with Harry's behavior,  but with his father's help as well as specialists care and advice he was assisted in
coming to terms with the tragedy of it all and losing an addiction that had been naturally of great concern to
everyone, it having been his albeit unhealthy way of coping with things that he had found clearly extremely difficult
to deal with personally. Even now my being a constant focus of attention does not make things any the easier for
them but it is not something they are in any position to control and so sensibly I think choose as best they can to
ignore it. This doesn't mean it doesn't hurt them and particularly so when what is said is so personal, intrusive and
often completely out of context with the truth. Hopefully in time this interest in me will become greatly moderated
though because of my untimely death, who I was and what I did somebody unlikely to be forgotten, a fact I
appreciate, as I'm sure they do too, will take time  naturally.

Harry has recently turned 21 years of age and what a remarkable young man he is turning out to be and with no
shortage of female attention! For years he has had to walk in the shadow of his eldest brother naturally and in some
ways this has not been easy for him,everyone liking and needing attention and if you're constantly pushed into the
background, tremendously frustrating. Although personally since childhood both boys albeit different in character
have been exceptionally close and supportive of each other. Harry always the more extrovert, boisterous and
emotionally more like me.  William, looking much like me but...his ways much more like those of his father, this
being a good thing in view of what at the moment anyway is the destiny for him and I am so happy that he is proving
to be so popular with the people though at times I know he finds it all a little overwhelming.

Harry is actually the luckier of them not facing the same future and I am quite sure knows it! Not having the same
restrictions has allowed him more freedom which admittedly at times he has taken to extreme but he is young and
he is learning by his mistakes and proving it becoming a lot more responsible as he has recently shown. Like me he
is somewhat of a free- spirit and in the environment to which he belongs, something I'd personally encourage in his
being but his stint of army life is perhaps a good basic grounding for his maturity. I am very inclined to believe that
he will take up where I left off in regards to charity work and being a voice for causes that need someone to promote
them, although naturally I celebrate William's decision to involve himself with those who are homeless and
destitute, victims of a society that in all too many ways doesn't care in quite the manner it should and perhaps with
his intervention this will begin to change.

My involving them in my work as children showing now the results I'd hoped for at the time of my doing so and so
naturally something I'm now very proud of. Harry found his recent time in Africa tremendously enriching and as
William did before him in South America, got thoroughly and directly involved with everything going on, absorbing
it all which has left a lasting impression upon him and why I feel that ultimately it is something he will be determined
to continue doing and being such a natural, friendly and approachable young man.  Smeone whom people will
warmly welcome with open arms for helping them and the rewards for him as I found for myself in Angola and
Bosnia ... tremendous! It is humbling to know that you are helping and to know that your help is respected and
appreciated in an all too obvious way.

Harry will not find himself working in an office, even in an official capacity. He is the action - man in every way! I
also predict that he will settle abroad as I'd intentions of doing though for quite different reasons but he will want to
be where the action is and a move therefore necessary. William, on the other hand, could I feel at any time now
announce an engagement and this being the case, I would advise a longer one than his father and I engaged in but he
having personally witnessed our mistake first hand will be wiser in this area than we were and I have confidence will
not make the same mistakes we did. Anyone taking him on takes on a lot more than just him obviously but as a
mother I feel his choice in Catharine is an advantageous one in every way and a relationship I would personally
encourage and like to see develop but of course ultimately this will be their decision to make!

On the subject of relationships Harry has said to the shock of some people I know that William and he love Camilla
to bits, something that naturally the media have picked up on and something that I personally feel was a very
diplomatic way of perhaps encouraging her to have more popularity and acceptance by the people. Not that I would
dispute that there is a respectful affection felt for her by them, after all the woman is responsible for their father's
happiness, something all too obvious to see and as I have said all have a tremendously supportive bond so naturally
will do all they can to encourage Papa being happy but also both very aware of the history of everything,
themselves being involved in that history.  I am glad there is no direct or indirect animosity as this would not be
healthy for them!

My boys though will always be my boys and I will do all I can to inspire them, to guide them, to nurture and protect
them now as I did in life as I have said before and re-iterate now, a mother's love for her children never dies! "